Berkely, CA (Science News) - Scientists just recently uncovered evidence that Eric Lachter may be a distant relative of the Bernstein Family. Tests dating back to 500 A.D. indicate the potential for a relationship, stemming primarily from analysis of a regressive Y chromosome. Scientists indicated they felt they were on to something, but that the gene mapping was elusive and difficult until they discovered the photo shown above. Stated Prof. Beeker of the institute, "this photo provides undisputable evidence there is a connection, there must be!"
According to Prof. Beeker, the research also included significant experiments with monkeys with incredibly low I.Q.'s. The male monkeys, each containing a strain of the chromosome, were fed large amounts of food and then placed in front of the television while female monkeys surrounded them with random banter and questioning. In all cases the male monkeys were able to fall asleep, if they were reclining on a couch, regardless of the level of banter and questioning. The monkeys are also believed to be distant relatives of Lachter and Bernstein.
In a related story a San Francisco judge ruled that 2 people married to each other that may have been related dating back over 2,000 years is legal.
