San Francisco, CA and Sioux City, IA (AP) - Trouble was brewing late this afternoon in the ongoing negotiations over the Bernstein Family Sibling Gift Policy (BFSGP) as Randi took the initial step of attempting to terminate the agreement on the grounds that she, Ben and Carolyn had been discussing it. Sources close to the situation indicated the discussions with Iowa sibling representative Dave Bernstein didn't go well. The Iowa Bernstein reportly was not overly receptive to the California branches plan to terminate the arrangement immediately. The issue, at face value, seems simple but is much more complex than it appears.
At issue presently is the timing of the proposal. Documents released over the weekend indicate that in early March Randi Lachter agreed to lead a search committee for a gift for Ben, whose birthday was March 7. Lachter, it turns out, never began a search, nor did she purchase said gift. She then initiated the proceedings for termination of the Master Gift Contract, rumored to have been signed back in 1972 when she was 4, and Ben hadn't been born yet. In a conversation late today Dave took exception to that. "I think she is covering her tracks, her story doesn't make sense, the timeline is all wrong, she says she was here when she was really there...and at one point evens alleges she was in Mexico at the time. I don't buy it!".
Dave's motives, however, have recently been called into question as well. In mid January Dave received a jacket as a birthday gift from the California branch. Even though the jacket arrived the week after his birthday, it was rumored to be "sweet", and therefore Dave feels he has a pretty good thing going, a source told us. The source said Bernstein was overheard saying "this coat is sweet, even sweeter than the one that Eric re-gifted to me, that my Mom gave him...that sweet!". Bernstein declined to comment as did Lachter.
And late this afternoon sources say a possible settlement may be presented to the California contingent tomorrow, after late afternoon shuttle diplomacy involving Eric Lachter as the official "back channel". Exclusive sources have told us that Bernstein and Lachter (pictured below) have basically agreed to a deal, a stripped down version of the original contract providing that the California Branch pool their gift resources and send one gift to the Iowa Branch, once per year. This gift, by default, would go to Dave. In exchange, the Iowa Branch would reciprocate with one gift per year, sent from Dave to Eric. Sensitivities over this agreement, and the fact that it basically leaves everyone else out, are still being mulled over. Lachter is said to be considering using the approach that he "needs more stuff, has a bigger gift list and is easier to buy for" than any of the other California Branch members. "I need a new Ipod, would like a new set of designer boots, have my eye on a new watch, and have been admiring these new Revos, so it should make it easy" a source overheard Lachter commenting.
Request for comments from Ben and Carolyn Bernstein and Randi Lachter were declined. However, in a late afternoon conversation with Dave, Ben is rumored to have said "dude I didn't tell her i wanted to quit buying you gifts. It's a conspiracy dude. Watch your back!". If the stalemate continues, it may have to go to binding arbitration, with the arbitrator being Liza Lachter. When asked what he thought of that outcome, Bernstein commented, "If Liza has to decide, it's anyone's guess. Lord help us!"
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