Miami, FL (AP) - Today officials of Guava and Java International announced an exclusive multi-year endorsement deal with The Lachter Family (known commonly as America's Family), pictured above. The deal came as a surprise to the industry, as speculation mounted in recent weeks that the deal was falling apart amid rumors that Liza Lachter was holding out for undisclosed terms and conditions. At the heart of the deal was a longstanding feud between Lachter patriarch Eric Lachter, and Guava and Java Head Busboy David Sterling (pictured below) over a comment about a muffin not long after Guava and Java opened their flagship San Francisco operations. Lachter allegedly boarded a flight to Minneapolis after purchasing a bran muffin at Guava and Java, and moments after biting in to it sent a text to an undisclosed source stating "note from seat 14B, bran muffin tastes like sand." The source relayed the comment to Sterling who, it was rumored, reacted very radically. Sterling was overheard yelling, "after all i have done for him, with the free rice krispy treats and companionship in Vegas, this is the thanks I get..."
Guava and Java CEO and President Rita Bhaskar, in an unprecedented press statement commented "David was very upset but has put this issue behind him. We have revised the recipe for bran muffins, taking Eric's comment to heart as his opinions are very valuable to us and we feel having the Lachters as spokespersons will be a win-win for all of us. And David asks that I relay his very sincere public apology to Eric for overreacting." Sterling was not available for comment.As the week unfolded and the deal got close, Liza Lachter held out for inclusion of Eric in the deal. Earlier in the week Sterling had insisted there would be no deal if Eric was involved, but the Lachter Family rallied around Eric. Sterling's initial objection centered around Eric's insistance that anytime he appeared in any ad, he was referred to as "McLovin Lachter". Sterling viewed this as disrespectful as he has been referring to himself as McLovin Sterling for the past few weeks, ever since the release of the movie Superbad. In the end however Sterling realized that without Liza and her sister Sonia, the deal was meaningless, and had to relent.
Liza, who recently told Eric that he was her hero in order to gain influence over family matters, negotiated a side deal with Eric for an undisclosed sum. Sonia and Liza Lachter are rumored to be the recipients of most of the endorsement deal and have just departed for a trip out of the country, and at the last minute offered to take their parents with them. Sonia Lachter commented, "We like Mommy and Daddy, and thought we would take them with us. Plus Liza and I can't drive yet so we need them. I can't wait until we get back tho as Liza and I are both going to buy new Porsches and only let Daddy drive them if he does what we ask him to do." When asked for comment at the airport immediately prior to her departure, Liza Lachter simply said, "Daddy is my hero" and then mischievously winked at the reporters. She then turned to her father and yelled "McLovin, get my bags and hurry up and get on the plane". -db
