Dakota Dunes, SD (AP) - At approximately 11:52pm Central Time on Monday evening, Santa was caught on hidden motion sensor camera rummaging around the Metz home. An initial call to 911 and subsequent follow up calls paint an unclear motive for Santa's visit. Hidden microphones captured Santa muttering something about "...looking for the damn malted milk balls" and careful analysis of the photo by experts lead to the conclusion that Santa may actually have posed for the security photo, indicating he wanted to be caught. DNA tests are still be analyzed to verify this was actually Santa, but analysis of his beard hair follicles and samples of reindeer feces remaining on the Metz's lawn all seem to lead to positive verification.
Santa was not available for comment, but his spokesperson Gail V. Klaus stated "Santa has been a real pain this year...he doesn't seem to follow directions well, he snacks and naps all the time, and lately he has been modelling himself after Larry David." (an apparent reference to Larry David, star a "Curb Your Enthusiasm", rumored to be Santa's favorite TV show). Bill Metz told reporters "I'm just not sure what Santa was doing...he seemed disoriented, and actually smiled when the security camera captured him breaking and entering...it was strange." Metz then added, "And the worst part is I emailed him last week telling him i really wanted a Fly Sux shaving kit for Christmas, and he couldn't even come up with that. It's the least he could have done after his reindeers relieved themselves all over my yard."
